Birthday celebrations can be a sweet reminder of someone reminding them of their numerous achievements in life. However, the piles of heartfelt messages can become tiresome to receive and write to everyone. Why not think outside the box and surprise something with a short, smart, and humorous greeting instead?


The art of humorous birthday greetings

Sending birthday cards is a staple to any birthday celebrant, whether it’s your family relative or your officemate. This is why you should make an excellent impression on your message, especially if you forgot to buy them a present. Unfortunately, not all of us are gifted with a funny bone that helps us tell jokes almost as easily as we breathe.

If you openly acknowledge your lack of humour, we’re here to help. Here are fifteen one-liners you can use to greet your favourite person on their birthday and make them question whether you actually wrote the message:


Stay crass with your co-workers

Birthday celebrations in the office are never boring since you have plenty of opportunities to have a good laugh. Although you can be sweet to your co-employee, it’s much more fun to give them a laugh instead. You can inject some office place banter with some of these openers below.

  1. Happy Birthday! Don’t forget you owe us a party later.
  2. Happy Birthday! You can take the day off today and take double shifts tomorrow instead.
  3. I heard there will be booze today, is it anything special?
  4. Happy birthday to the least hard working person in the office!
  5. I hope you remember it’s your birthday today, unlike that time you forgot to bring your presentation.


Remind them of their old age with dark humour

Although birthdays are celebrations for being a year older, they’re also a reminder that someone’s a year closer to eventually reaching the afterlife. Spice up your birthday greeting with some morbidly humorous openers like the ones below.

  1. Good luck getting through your mid-life crisis!
  2. Only a few more years until you enjoy your retirement pension!
  3. Happy birthday! Thanks for making me feel younger today.
  4. It’s time to celebrate your birthday! And remember that your time’s running out.
  5. Another year of aging disgracefully. Happy Birthday!


Poke fun at your relatives

The best people to insult are the ones who are closest to us. This is because you get a free pass to be as harsh as you can without appearing mean or insensitive. Listed below are some prompts you can use to show your tough love to your family members

  1. Happy birthday to Mum and Dad’s least favourite child.
  2. Happy Birthday! Let’s celebrate the first and last time you’ll ever touch a vagina.
  3. Remember when I didn’t give you a gift on your birthday? That’s today.
  4. You’re another year older, and you’re still as immature as when we were kids.
  5. Happy birthday to my gorgeous son. You remind me of myself when I was younger. Only more handsome and more successful.



When sending your well-wishes to the celebrant, it’s best to deliver a message that comes from the heart. Then again, you should never let your good intentions prevent you from sliding in a few laughs. Do this by giving a joke gift or padding a sincere present with a shockingly humorous birthday greeting. Regardless of how you want to express your unique feelings, you should give it a little bit of light-hearted fun together with a personal touch. These are the gifts that they will remember for years on end.

Finding the perfect greeting card around the UK can be tiring to do on foot, which is why our online shop can help you look for what you need. We have a wide selection of funny and offensive birthday cards to make your greeting to make your birthday greeting stand out! Order from us today to find the perfect shocker to your birthday celebrant!