News of pregnancies seems to be terribly exciting to people, no matter their opinion on it. Whether they are happy about meeting a new human being or they find it downright frightful, pregnancy can elicit crazy, funny reactions from people. After the announcement and the funny, offensive pregnancy cards, a mum-to-be will likely encounter variations on these things. How many of these have you heard?
Was it planned?
Even if a baby is a surprise to the parents, it is hardly something you would want to tell the world. Besides, this is not the kind of thing to share with acquaintances, or people you barely know.
Unless the person offers this information, don’t ask; it’s enough to express your congratulations. If you’re close to the pregnant person, though, sending them something that says ‘Congratulations, Your Genitals Work’ would surely give them a chuckle!
You look fat/exhausted
Way to go, Captain Obvious! People are quick to forget the life-sustaining reasons why a person puts on weight while they’re pregnant, and focus on the physical changes. This applies for comments regarding how tired the person looks as well. Try not to mention your friend’s eye bags or five to ten extra pounds; they have little control over that.
Instead, make them smile with a funny congratulations card that celebrates the MILF-to-Be. Everyone wants assurance that they look great, even mums.
Don’t eat this, don’t drink that
People have so many opinions about what a pregnant person should and shouldn’t ingest. Once they share what you should or shouldn’t eat or drink, they’ll follow it with well-meaning but unnecessary comments. As long as you’re following your doctor’s orders, you don’t need to worry.
If you want to rope someone in for some good-natured ribbing, why not send a card to the father? This one about his prowess should do the trick.
Enjoy your time together as a couple
It’s a given that having a baby turns your life upside down. You don’t need constant reminders of it, though! It can be tiring to hear how your life will never be the same again after a baby. Even if you planned for the pregnancy, always hearing this will make you doubt your decision; you don’t want to equate parenthood with your life being over!
Give the pregnant couple in your life a card that says ‘Yay! A Baby, This Is Fucking Awesome News!’ It’s strangely rude and wholesome at once.
You look about ready to burst
This is perhaps one of the most insensitive things you could say to a pregnant person. It’s just a variation on ‘you look fat,’ and a not very polite one at that. When someone is nearing their due date, they’ll probably be having so much anxiety about ensuring their baby’s safe delivery. Don’t add to the despair and worry that they’re feeling!
If you’re feeling great about your comedic timing, or if you’re close to this particular pregnant mum, send them this rude good luck card!
Pregnancy can be an incredible rollercoaster of emotions for the couple. If you’re a friend or a relative, you can help them cope with what’s happening by listening and responding to their needs. They’ll surely be grateful for having one less source of comments to fret about!
Browse other funny pregnancy cards at You Said It. We have a range of rude, hilarious messages you can send to special people in your life who are celebrating milestones. Browse our store or contact us for inquiries!